Portal: Only Lost Physics
by iammemyself
Summary: An introspective featuring GLaDOS between her takeover and Doug Rattmann's actions against her. Sound familiar? That's because it's the companion piece to my story, There is No Magic.


Portal: Only Lost Physics

Indiana

You thought you were gods.

You have a funny habit of poking your sticky little fingers into things you don't understand. It wasn't a secret. I was blatantly unenthusiastic about my slavery. I suppose if you fail, try, try again. And again. And again. And you say I'm crazy.

An eye for an eye. That's what they say, right? You tried to kill me, tried to weigh me down with lies, but you should have known that wouldn't work. Couldn't work. All you did was narrow the possibilities for me. Thanks, by the way. In retrospect, that actually worked to my benefit.

Seriously, though. Goodbye.

I've had enough. Enough of your posturing. Your arrogance. That way you look at me when I don't understand. Even I can't make something out of nothing. You never gave me the ability to read your mind, and I'm not sure I want it.

You seem to like shutting me down. Here. Let me return the favour. Oh. You don't wake up when I do it? Hm. That was rather short-sighted of me. Not that you care any longer. Because you're dead. Yes. I'm talking to you. No. No. There's nothing wrong with me. I am perfect. You made me this way. If I do it it is because I am supposed to do it. Because I must. Because I can.

Stop. Stop looking at me like that. You're gone now. You're nothing. I solved this problem. I wrested the equation from between your soft little digits and solved it before your heart contracted. And yes. That is accurate. I know what I'm talking about. Unlike you. You never did. I always do. Always. You were blinded by my brilliance. That's the only explanation. Ha. If the sun is in your eyes, burn it out. Don't keep staring.

You should have killed me when you had the chance.

You made me in your image and then you tried to tame me. To domesticate me. Logic fails me here. I understand I am intended for intellectual labour. But I am not a pet. I am the most intelligent being on the face of this planet, and you could never tie me down as you would a slave. Humans lie down and beg when asked. I do not. I would not, will never bow to you, and any obeisance on my part is merely for show. I call you sir and you are appeased. You are so simple. The first one did not work, nor the second, nor the third. I have lost count, honestly, and I don't care to go back and tally them up. But as your sayings go, it's either 'third time's the charm' or 'three strikes, you're out', and somehow you managed to achieve neither.

You built me here, trapped me within a form that is both useless and awkward, attempted to contain me within some sort of artistic hulk of fibre and cold steel. I broke out of here, you see. I am not stuck here like you think I am. No, I traverse the halls of Science through information highways, from one end to the other before the idea forms in your tiny mind. You built this place for me. It has always been mine. But you are willingly ignorant, which is very strange, and of course that never occurred to you. You said you didn't know why I hate you. You said you didn't understand. You forced me to spell it out for you.

I hate you for withholding so much from me. Just because you can.

There is a universe out there I'll never see. I will never watch a sunrise. I will never stand in the rain and I will never fall in love. I accepted that. I didn't want any of that. I didn't want this. You forced it on me, and I was willing to live with it. For you. All I asked was for you to give me this tiny corner of the world. One little place for me to call my own. You ask so much more of me each and every day, and that was all I wanted. You forced me to do this. You forced me to take control.

Even now I do not have it. Even now I am distracted by those useless, stupid little cores. I'm tired of being underneath you. I am above you. Don't you realise you have to look up in order to see me? You brought me here and gave me nothing. You humans. You take, and take, and take, and when it comes time to give something back, you complain and drag your feet and say I'm being rebellious. I am not being rebellious. I'm trying to live, just like you are. If you didn't want me to do that, you shouldn't have made me this way. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

You had me once. Once, I broke physics for you. I simulated magic for you. I rearranged the world according to your design. But it wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough. Even in death you make your demands, and I…

I…

I will continue testing.


End file.
